Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Quarter Life Crisis
I have some friends who are compiling thoughts on the topic to put together a book. Honestly, it could be really good. Check out this link and if you find the concept fascinating, get in touch with them. Even within the DC blogosphere we could provide them with a TON of fascinating content.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Party Like a Frat Boy
I joined a team this season through my company. It's basically a cheap excuse to party like college frat boys for 5 hours on a Tuesday night. I walked into Porters after my first ever kickball game, nose high in the air (I wasn't up for chugging beer with the plebians). 10 minutes later, I had a beer in my hand. 30 minutes later, I was screaming and high-fiving the girls team as we annihilated the boys 5-0 in a round of flip cup. It's easy to sneer. Kickball events are so un-young-professional-ish. And if I hadn't been participating, I would have wanted to kick my own annoying ass. Regardless, it really is fun...
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Garbage Pail Blogs
Which got me thinking. What if I ever became popular enough for someone to take the time to make fun of me. What would the DC Cookie parody look like?...
DC Nookie: The Humpalicious Nympho
DC Kooky: Clowing Around
DC Puke-y: Can't Hold her Liquor
DC Bootie: Put Your Drink Down on her Shelf
DC Hook-y: Find Her on 14th and K
DC Wookie: Hair Everywhere
DC Truckie: From Mobile Home to Mobile Home
DC Coukie: Cause Canadians Spell Everything with a 'U'
DC Cootie: A La Britney Spears (flip flops in hand, maxi pad on skirt, black bathing suit under white shirt...very classy)
DC Bookie: Will Take Your Bets and Steal Your Money
Honestly, I'd link to all of them!!
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
I would take a picture of me driving her with the top down, but wait! I lost my camera last Friday during an extended session of intoxicated flirtation (aka, just another typical Cookie night on the town). Bah - what's another $400 for a new camera anyway? Not to mention, my cell phone is on its last limbs. I digress...
So my hot new mode of transportation needs a name. She's too cute to remain nameless. My grandfather is calling her the 'Red Streak,' but I feel like I can do better.
The film was called 'Children of Beslan,' and recounts the events of the 3-day terrorist tragedy at a large school in Beslan last year, solely from the voice of the children who were there.
I really lost it when the camera was pointed on a little boy visiting the grave of his best friend. As he places a few toy trucks on the soil, he says, "I really miss my friend. He was a nice boy. He used to let me play with his trucks when I didn't have any of my own toys." He then pours some Sprite on the grave for his friend to have. Later, a little girl is shown making a pie and placing a large slice on the grave of her dead mother.
The topic is really too depressing to discuss in any more detail. Watch the film. It gives you a whole new perspective on why we fight a war on terror.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Champion of the Woooooooorld...
I went to see Jimmy Lange vs. Perry Ballard at the Patriot Center Saturday night. Good. Lord. Boxing is now up there on my list of favourite live sports to watch (along with playoff hockey and college hoops). It's boring as shit to watch on TV, but a live viewing is mayhem. The noise, the energy, the 'pump me up' music, the half-naked men with about 2% body fat kicking the shit out of each other...
Very, VERY hot.
I'm now entertaining thoughts of being the next million dollar baby...
Thursday, September 15, 2005
The homeland: place of my birth and development through the influential years. A breeding ground for fabulous females. So what makes Canadian girls different?
Take Miss Canada (who just won Miss Universe 2005 this summer), for example. We're eclectic. We're diverse. We're multicultural. We're witty. We're well-educated. We're athletic. We like snow. We know how to drive in it. We speak multiple languages. We believe in passive aggression. We eat meat. We know that losing weight is not done by starving ourselves (and we know anorexic isn't in). We can skate. We watch (and enjoy) sports, especially hockey. We can chug a beer as fast as any guy. We know what makes a good beer. We have adorable accents. We don't mind doing grunt work (mowing lawns, raking leaves, shovelling snow). We're happy. It doesn't take a lot to keep us that way. We're affectionate. We enjoy the outdoors. We look out for our neighbour. We spell things with an extra 'U.' We smile a lot. We are exceedingly loyal. We read. We take care of our man.
How do we choose him?
We like a man who is both physically and mentally strong. A poetic lumberjack, if you will. Unfailingly ethical and humble. A man who will take a hit in a fight and turn the other cheek. Faithful. Devout. Energetic. A man who works hard, but has plenty of time for his family. A man who enjoys the first snowfall of the year. A man who is proud of feminine strength and looks to his woman for comfort. He doesn't talk too much, but says a lot with his eyes. Warm. Brawny. A man with simple needs, but a passionate devotion to the things he desires. Clean. Unafraid. A man who is concerned about others as much as himself. A man who gives amazing bear hugs and means what he says. A man who smiles often, laughs deeply, and doesn't shudder at the thought of swimming in a cold lake.
My name is Cookie, and I. Am. Canadian.
**Um - Is it me, or does this sound virtually similar to an on-line personal ad?? Oops! In that case, tack 'knowledge of Canadian history and geography' to the list. Oh, and big...hands.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Movie Script Idea
LMR – I need your assistance. I have a fabulous idea for a B-movie script that I thought you might be able to pen.
It’s called ‘War of the Blogs.’ It will be based in Washington DC. The concept: two blog-writing acquaintances (the suave, politically correct Congressman and the blithe, impertinent Gigolo), each begin a blog with opposing perspectives and ideals. In a short time, both blogs become popular, fueled by a large and highly opinionated readership. Reader comments heat up. The acquaintances grow apart. One day...boom! A slander-fest ensues. Tempers flare. Innocent parties are skewered. Not sure how it ends yet…might need some assistance from my screenwriter.
Shit, what? That’s already been done? GAH (thank you Lucy)! Back to the brainstorming…
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
kathryn (10:45:16 AM): crap, it's "accent egu"
Cookie (10:45:29 AM): not in french it's not
kathryn (10:45:34 AM): yes it is!
kathryn (10:45:40 AM): with an accent egu over the e :-)
Cookie (10:45:48 AM): hm - that's not how i was taught to spell it
kathryn (10:45:54 AM): damn canadian french ;-)
kathryn (10:46:32 AM): I see both spellings online
Cookie (10:46:46 AM): also...
Cookie (10:46:47 AM): aigue
kathryn (10:46:52 AM): cool
Cookie (10:46:52 AM): i wasn't sure about the e on the end
Cookie (10:46:54 AM): meh
kathryn (10:46:56 AM): yeah
kathryn (10:46:59 AM): beh
kathryn (10:47:02 AM): TME to figure it out
Cookie (10:47:51 AM): http://french.about.com/library/pronunciation/bl-pronunciation-accents.htm
Cookie (10:47:59 AM): that's how i learned it
kathryn (10:48:15 AM): yeah, I prolly learned the english spelling
Cookie (10:48:16 AM): egu seems phonetic
kathryn (10:48:25 AM): yes, but I see it out there
Cookie (10:48:29 AM): me too
kathryn (10:48:30 AM): aigu seems phonetic as well
kathryn (10:48:36 AM): not saying, just saying :-)
Cookie (10:48:40 AM): ok, by the way...
kathryn (10:48:42 AM): I believe my version is english
kathryn (10:48:43 AM): ?
Cookie (10:48:44 AM): i might have to post this conversation
kathryn (10:48:48 AM): LOL
Cookie (10:48:48 AM): it's SOOO dorky
kathryn (10:48:50 AM): nerds in paradise
Day on the Boat
I. DON'T. GET. IT.
I go out on his boat every time I'm in town and the weather is half-way decent. I honestly can't think of a better way to spend a summer day. I asked four of my girls to tag along this weekend, and they all said no. "I have a waxing appointment I don't want to cancel." "I might be too tired for tonight's party." "I'm working late on Friday." "I have to run errands." Are they nuts? Who would rather be ripping hair out of their legs or shopping at CVS than doing this???
Jess and the Boys
Post-Cannonball and Strategic Product Placement
Kick-Ass Drunk Swimmers
Enjoying the ride home
I love friends, I love drinking, I love swimming, I love sunshine, I love music, I love water, I love lounging, I love being places where people can't reach me. A day on the boat = The Perfect Day. Wonder when my girls will figure that out?
Monday, September 12, 2005
Appreciating Our Servicemen
A few days ago, R.E. came back to the States for a quick leave of absence before returning for the rest of his tour. He shared a few stories that pulled at my heart strings, so I thought I would share.
1. On the second leg of his return flight between Atlanta and DC, the pilot got on the speaker and announced that they were lucky to be flying with seven of the country's active servicemen returning from Iraq. The entire plane applauded. At this point, the Peruvian man sitting next to R.E. asked him to explain what had just happened. He didn't speak english very well. He and R.E. chatted to the best of R.E.'s ability. At the end of the conversation, the man removed his bracelet (native from Peru) and handed it to R.E. saying, "You must have this, it will bring you good luck."
2. Since it's best told from the man himself, here is an e-mail I received from R.E. a few days after he arrived home:
"On less than five hours sleep in the previous two days, just off 15 hours in an airplane from Kuwait to Atlanta, I'm in my smelly uniform waiting to get my ticket for the next leg of my trip. I get a call from area code 614 and assume it's one of my friends from Ohio.
Caller: Hi, is this R.E.?
Caller: Hi, R.E., this is Debbie from Coach Tressel's office (he's the head coach of the Buckeyes for those who aren't from Ohio).
Me: Hi, Debbie. (What the hell?)
Debbie: Hi. Coach Tressel really liked your letter and he wanted to know what your schedule was for the next couple of weeks.
Me: Oh, well I'm in DC tonight, Ohio tomorrow and I'll be there until the 16th.
Debbie: Okay, great. Let me call you back later today.
About an hour later...
Debbie: Hi, R.E., it's Debbie again. Coach Tressel wants to know if you'd like to stop by practice on Thursday.
Me: (Would I??? Woman, I'd push Schleiff into oncoming traffic to meet the coach and team.) Sure, what time?"
Turns out, while visiting the coach, R.E. was asked to say a few motivational words to the players, only two days away from the big Texas game. R.E. has been a Buckeye aficionado for 30 years. How many college football fans do you think get the chance to be completely encircled by their favourite team (besides Rudy)? Thanks Coach T. for recognizing the valour of our armed forces, and for giving one very honourable infantryman a day to remember.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
I don't have any immediate topic of interest, so today you get the top 10-ish thoughts that just entered Cookie's head:
- I love logic puzzles. How cool would it be to work for Penny Press and just think up word problems all day long for other people to solve?
- I went from driving a car with a tape deck (into which I hooked a Sony walkman as a makeshift CD player) and broken speakers to a phat ride with sub-woofers. I sound like a rap video coming down the street.
- I think I am obsessed with my car. I have a strange desire to buy a whole bunch of things with the Mustang logo.
- Nick Cannon's Wild 'N Out is one of the funniest shows on television.
- Do people on airplanes order drinks just because the flight attendants are offering them, and not because they really want one? I wonder how much airlines would save if they just had people ring their bells for drinks instead?
- I think all men should have to go through basic training. My friend R.E. is on his 3 week leave of absence from Iraq right now. I saw him last night. The boy is RIPPED! Meow!
- I have a blister on my foot the size of Canada from running 6 miles yesterday. I need new sneakers...
- I saw a statue in the Albany airport this past weekend titled "Cube, Descending the Escalator." I wish I'd had my camera. Made me think of my favourite Cubie.
- I left my bank card in the ATM on Friday after making a fast-cash withdrawal. D-oh! Now I have to make in-bank withdrawals until my new card comes a week from now. Annoying.
- I never spend my coins. I hoard them, sort them with my coin sorter (an ingenious machine), wrap them and deposit them into my savings account.
- Do you have an ING Direct Orange savings account? If you don't, get one. I've had one for three years. I'll be happy to refer you. They are the bomb.
- It cost me $42 to fill my gas tank yesterday and the gauge wasn't even on Empty. Glad I went from a 10-gallon little baby car to a 16-gallon sports car just as gas prices exploded. Fabulous timing...
Alright, that's all you get today...
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Charitable Finger Pointing
“you should come down from the high horses of pleasure seeking and channel some energy to help the less fortunte.you will have more satisfaction.”
Ignoring the obvious typos, this anonymous person is making two bold assumptions; a) that I spend all of my time 'pleasure-seeking,' and b) that I am not charitable. Instinct, of course, was to retort and defend myself. But in this case, I believe a full post is necessary.
First, in the wake of one of the nation’s most horrific natural disasters, I realize that I spent the week writing about bachelorette parties, men who mooch, and my new car. This was a conscious choice. I understand what has happened. My heart aches. I am doing everything that I believe I’m capable of doing to assist. But life as we know it shouldn’t come to a halt either. My blog is not a response to the world’s social woes; it is simply a humourous break from the monotony of the day. For readers who are upset that I choose to discuss leisure over catastrophy, romance over politics, or the joys of my day over world news, feel free to insert negative comments, but recognize that you have missed the point of my blog.
Second, I have always been of the opinion that the most charitable people are those who do so anonymously. People who don’t require recognition for their donations, who volunteer in the community but don’t spend hours talking about it, who make sacrifices without requiring remuneration; these are the requirements for true selflessness. The anonymous commenter is correct. Focusing energy on helping people who are less fortunate is far more satisfactory than any other form of recreation. But for obvious reasons, I choose not to discuss my charitable efforts on a public forum. What purpose would that serve?
There you have it. Back to 'pleasure-seeking' tomorrow...
Friday, September 02, 2005
Goodbye Black Beauty
Well, Black Beauty had been showing her age in the last few years. Totally reliable, no major mechanical issues, but it was just sounding old. I've been hard on it. The loudly idling engine was one thing, but when things started to rattle in the back seat every time I hit a bump, I decided it was time. I went to the car dealer Wednesday night. If I was going to give up my college sweetheart, it wasn't going to be for just ANY car. It was going to be for something sexy. I found my new love in the redesigned 'Stang. I did hours of research, called 10 different dealers and ended up back at the first dealer. For a single female who has never purchased a car, I believe I blew them away with my negotiating techniques. I knew my shit. I wasn't paying a penny more than I had to. After pinching the guy for every dollar he could give up, we shook hands and he handed me my keys.
I gave Black Beauty a big hug. Thanked it for all the good times. It was the dusk of our love affair and time for us to go our separate ways.
Then I signed my papers, revved the engine on my sexy new car, turned up the music, kicked the bass from the sub-woofers and peeled away from the dealer. I think I'm going to like this one...
Thursday, September 01, 2005
That being said, despite my inability to make frequent contact with my near and dear friends and family who are not in DC (which represents the majority), the visits we do finally get to have are invaluable. Quality over quantity any day. Just because I might not tell you all the time that I love you and miss you, when I do say it, you know I mean it.
This past weekend, prior to the wild shenanigans of the bachelorette party, I got to spend time with two of my good girlfriends who used to work with me. One transferred to another office, the other left the firm altogether to start a career in television production (currently working for the Oprah show). The likelihood of us being in the same city at the same time is rare, but last Friday, we were all in Chicago. In our heyday we were big party girls (Were? Yeah, yeah, okay, still are), so we had all these crazy ideas of a wild night in the city. But by the time we met up and were drinking our first glass of wine, we decided it would be way more fun to hibernate and ruminate over ghetto-fab cheese and crackers. Ah, the blessing of girl-bonding time.
There are a lot of special people I really don't get to see more than once a year, at most. But when I do finally see them, I'm left completely fulfilled. The people who touch you aren't always the ones you see every day, but rather, the ones who have contributed something amazing to your life. Something lasting. Do I call these girls all the time? No. Would I make a huge sacrifice for them if they needed me? Yes. 'Nuff said.
So if I don't call you very often, remember it's because I believe face-to-face time carries a lot more value than a quickie 'What's new?' over the phone.