DC Cookie

Monday, January 29, 2007

Before Considering Marriage

We know the statistics related to the likelihood of divorce in this country is upwards of 50%. One of my best friends on the verge of marriage to her fiance spotted this article in the New York Times which, put simply, highlights the top things couples do not adequately discuss before saying their vows; the most common marriage deal-breakers.

  • 1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
  • 2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
  • 3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
  • 4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
  • 5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
  • 6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
  • 7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
  • 8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
  • 9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
  • 10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
  • 11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
  • 12) What does my family do that annoys you?
  • 13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
  • 14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
  • 15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

Interestingly enough, as I read through the list I realized Special K and I have discussed everything on it in detail, save #7 (which by default is already a no, since neither one of us care for TV very much), and we're only in our 4th month of couple-dom.

How is it possible that these topics don't automatically make it to the forefront of a communication agenda with a serious significant other? It boggles my mind...

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Scarletta in a Blanket

After a lazy Sunday with the blinds shut, my sweetheart and I emerged in the early evening to discover my car subdued by a thick layer of frozen powder [thick, of course, being a relative term for Virginia]. I took a deep breath and admired the paralyzed landscape. The soft snowflakes pacify my every worry.

I suspect I must have been born during a halcyon Québécois snowfall. At the pinnacle of every temperate white blanketing of winter I morph into a breezy state of absolute inner serenity.

Jess, snow, car

It's the snow-capped exuberance I feel with each flake melting on my eyelashes that reminds me [thankfully] I will always have a gracious, pure Canadian heart.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007


There is only one way I know how to fight. With kindness.

Hence, why I sit on the sidelines and shockingly observe these monstrous, scathing, verbal battles that ultimately get labeled 'blog wars' and wonder how my creative acquaintances and friends are capable of existing in that state of up-in-arms that I will never comprehend. How traditionally jovial and pleasant women can become so rapidly venomous and enflamed (at what seemed to me an ambiguous, innocuous offense) that claws are bared and skin is slashed in their ireful, slandering diatribe of a riposte. How the male character, who I spent the summer fondly unmasking to reveal a sensitive, loving, gentle soul, could retort with an equally unpleasant dose of vitriol so glaringly contradictory to his nature.

The reasons are simple. Insult, whether intentional or not, breeds that illogical desire for a grandiose and spiteful revenge. It's natural to want to defend one's honour via the means of personal attack and merciless verbal slaughter.
  • He's a cocky, douchebag, poser, steroid-monger of a wannabe with no life
  • She's a porky, psycho, attention-seeking, delirious sloth who can't handle rejection
  • He's not gay

Whatever the cheap shot, the real question I ask is...how does fighting injury with fire help to assuage the injustice? A scathing defense will garner plenty of attention but will not elicit sympathy nor guilt from the offender. Is a weight truly lifted when you turn into someone more odious, in the name of justice, than the person who insulted you in the first place; or does the burden just grow heavier?

If a group of people publicly lynched you for being a contemptible imposter, would under-handedly seeking out their private information for the purposes of retribution really prove that group of people wrong about you, regardless of the validity or insensitivity of the original defamation?

Didn't we learn anything from Gandhi's formidable example? The only way to eliminate injustice is to fight it with virtue. Basting a rash with lye; sealing a broken dam with a band-aid; masking a pungent odor with Drakkar Noir; treating frostbite with icicles; the initial problem will only be exacerbated ten-fold.

Can anyone count the number of enemies of DC Cookie?


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Playette or Poseuse


Woman, it's winter. Enough with the lace, neon-infused tube tops, especially in January. That was so 1988. Can I offer you a few small pieces of advice? First, square earrings don't match oval necklaces. You might want to consider shopping somewhere other than Claire's for your jewelry. Second, you may think you're 'the shit,' sticking your sizeable amount of junk out for a picture that the photographer wouldn't have taken had you not surrounded him with force; but honey, that good-looking man beside you is double-fisting; he'll talk to anything... Poseuse!

This post was inspired by the dread of finding horrible club photos of oneself online...and Roosh.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Assistance With Your New Years Resolution

One of my best friends is a personal trainer. She doesn't just teach you how to lift weights effectively, she teaches you how to alter your lifestyle. I've taken her program before (with fantastic results). She just started her own business so she's looking for new clients. I've signed up, and in one week I already notice both a physical and mental difference. Not only does my body feel better post-holiday, but she's literally on the phone and up my ass (as she is for each and every one of her clients; friend or not) to set my targets and discipline me into meeting them. She's an amicable fitness Nazi.



She's hosting free trial classes until the 17th of January. Her strength training sessions are held in residential buildings in Arlington with a maximum of about 8 people in each class. I wanted to throw that out to the blog world to see how many of you want an inexpensive and effective method for sticking to your wellness resolutions.

Added bonus? She's exotically attractive.


If you want more information, e-mail me!

Monday, January 08, 2007

Un-Fashionably En Retard

There's a difference between being fashionably late for an event and inexcusably delayed. I am the latter - always. When I tell my friends I'll be somewhere at 6:30, I typically don't arrive until a quarter to 8. A 7:00 dinner reservation is simply a suggestion for when to leave my house. It never fails that I'm 5 minutes late for important meetings, 15 minutes late for lunch dates or beauty appointments, 30 minutes late for gala events, work, or group dinners, an hour late for happy hours and upwards of 2 hours late for open-ended social engagements.

Although my friends and family have learned to deal patiently with my consistent and abhorrently dilatory arrivals, that doesn't resolve the fact that tardiness is a frightfully annoying habit. Procrastination is among my most signficant character flaws. I loathe being the last one to find a seat at a theater, but I adore the abundance of diversions with which I can distract myself so extensively past the required time of departure.

I wonder sometimes if my dawdling is the necessary, evil byproduct of my pensive tendencies and natural introversion (of course by introversion I simply mean my need for alone time). Because by no means are my actions torpid or sluggish. I'm eternally occupied and overbooked; but consummately fulfilled as a result. Unfortunately, that frenzied fulfillment comes at the expense of those who are perpetually wondering at what ungodly hour I'm going grace them with my audacious appearance.

I apologize profusely on a daily basis for my laggard soul, but there is absolutely nothing in the world that will change me. I'm going to be late for my own funeral...

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Social Ass-et

The question of what men are seeking [albeit hapazardly] and why they take so long to settle down with one woman was answered this weekend so plainly by Special K that it was as if I heard the hallelujahs amidst all unanswered female dating woes. To paraphrase, he said to me, "You know, all me or any of my friends have ever wanted is a woman who is a social asset."

And by social asset he means a woman he feels entirely comfortable bringing around his friends - all the time. The asset is cute enough that his friends want to flirt with her, but she is not egotistical about it. The asset does not whine or pout when her man disappears for a moment to have an aside with a rugby friend; instead she strikes up a discussion with someone else until he returns. The asset is outgoing, friendly and independent enough that she can handle herself graciously and confidently in a room full of amicable strangers.

That's it. That's all it takes. You can't win the man without also winning the friends' approval. Be good-natured; be fun; don't cling; be open-minded; be assertive; smile often; and engage his amigos in conversation without requiring him to hand-hold. Make it impossible for him not to want you around.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Happy New Year - This Blog Has Been PG-13d

Because I don't ever want to look back and think "I wrote...that, in public?"

I was meandering the beaches of Santa Barbara watching the sunset for my new year. I'll be back in DC tomorrow and ready to blog again. Because I miss you all...
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