DC Cookie

Friday, July 29, 2005

Girls Poop

Sorry to disappoint, but we do. It’s Mother Nature. However, there are certain female ‘rules’ to doing these things politely that are sometimes forgotten. Inspired by some ladies who have had very poor etiquette in the bathrooms at work lately, here are some courteous tips for gracious pooping:
  • There are four stalls in the bathroom. If someone is in the first stall, don't go in the stall right beside her! Go to the one on the end. We need things to remain as private as possible.
  • If there is a woman in a stall and you notice she hasn't peed in a little while, she is clearly there to do the deed and would like everyone to be out of the bathroom if possible when she does (you often hear a sigh or a mini cough so that the other person in the bathroom knows she's there). Don't stay and braid your hair or do your makeup in the mirror while she's clenching her butt cheeks and wincing. Very poor form!
  • If you know you're about to poop, spray a little of that lemon scented freshener into the air first. It doesn't smell great, but it smells a LOT better than the alternative.
  • Courtesy flush please! Immediately! I don't care if you don't think it smells...it does!
  • And for the kicker...WASH YOUR HANDS! I have seen women just rinse the tips of their fingers with water, or worse, just walk out without washing at all. That is so disgusting! Put your entire hand into the water, spray soap, lather up and cleanse. You just wiped your poop-hole! Come on!! It takes 10 seconds. We're ladies, not boars.

Strong Married Couple

It doesn't happen that often anymore. Two people who married young and stayed together blissfully. Congratulations to my Mom and Dad for hitting year number 33 together and still finding a way to make it work!! I'll settle for nothing less for myself.

Mom, Jess, Dad on Cruise

Thursday, July 28, 2005

US vs. Canada - IQ Test

I demand to know who the US paid off for these study results...

Country IQ estimate:


Bloggers are fun and cool. Period. We drink (a lot). We dance (a lot). We take (a lot) of pictures. And then we write about it. Who is organizing next week's event? Captain?

Apparently we're also hotties.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

My Third Favourite Day of the Year

First favourite = Christmas day.
Second favourite = My birthday.
Third favourite = The birthday of my baby sister.


Kristy kid with chocolate face

Kristy - with Roman

Monday, July 25, 2005

UVA Football - Worst Losses

My friend 'Jean Claude Van Slam' just sent me this link to the top 10 UVA football disappointing losses.

UVA Football

Can we please add the loss to Fresno State in the 'sub-par' MPC Computers Bowl on January 27th, 2005? That cost our family big-time in bragging rights over some Fresno State friends in CA. UGH!

I've said this many times since my first year at UVA...sometimes it's just hard to be a Wahoo...

Gratuitous Girl Pictures

A.R.L., 20+ girlfriends, two nights in Dewey Beach...this is what you get (thank goodness we only do this once a year!):

Group shot at Lighthouse
The group starts with some Orange Crushes at the Lighthouse.

Group shot at Lighthouse (chrissy)
This was the group that greeted me so loudly on the street when I arrived that boys were high-fiving me and asking me if we wanted to ride in their limos (limos at Dewey Beach? Uh, no). I HEART MY GIRLS!

Chrissy, Jess Jello Shooters
A.R.L. Prez and VP 'must' lead the way with jello shots.

Group Shot with TX
Look who showed up! TX Cutie and her awesome friend N.

girls with brad pitt
...and Brad Pitt.

ARL Group II (Jess)
You can't imagine how much attention these shirts got us. No, it's NOT APA, it's A.R.L.!! Dammit! Can't you read Greek letters?

Blog Girls
A.R.L. Bloggers.

ARL group shot 2 (nansue's pic)

nansue, lauren, wendy

ARL view from above
View from the stage.

ARL With Santa
Santa had to have been on the verge of heat stroke in that suit. It was 95-ish. We were dying in our baby tees.

Jello Shot Incident
Jello shot spillage.

Jess on Screen
Prez makes the big screen.

ARL singing
A.R.L. girls RULE!!

Friday, July 22, 2005

End of an Era

Jess, April, Lauren at Modern

It was such a strange feeling to come home last night to a virtually empty living room, 1/2 empty cabinets and drawers, no TV, no DVD player, no pepsi in the fridge, no frozen pizza in the toaster oven (which was also gone), no blue towels in the laundry, an empty bedroom upstairs, and worst of all....no A (my wonderful friend and roommate for the last 5 years)! My other roommate L and I looked at each other and just about cried (actually, I think L might have already been crying before I got home from work).

Jess, April, Lauren at Flip Cup

Although we've been prepared for A's amicable departure for several months, the reality never quite sunk in. Okay, I realize she only moved 20 minutes away, and we'll still be seeing her every weekend (our couch is your couch babes), but I've lived with the girl for 5 years!! It's just not going to be the same. ::Sighs::

Jess, april, Lauren at J's Birthday


Thursday, July 21, 2005


TX, Jess, Sara, Robin, Kat
Note to self: wear tighter, saucier shirt next time. You girls looked fab!

Props to RCR for the wonderful term 'blorgy!' It appears that I'm one of the only people who attended Blog-apalooza and didn't post about it. So, I'm posting about it, in the most lazy way possible - by linking to other recaps so I don't have to type anything myself:
Fun times for sure (my limit of 2 v&t's lasted about 45 minutes when the lovely Robin ordered me my third, and then I just gave up and had 2 more, as well as a few sour apples at the next venue...oops!).

Lord help us if this becomes a weekly event. We'll start to overtake bars just like the hashers (who also have aliases and drink heavily on weekdays). We likeeeee...

Painfully Shy

Cookie loves meeting new people and introduces herself to newbies all the time. Cookie is quick to strike up conversation, especially when others seem uncomfortable. Cookie looks people in the eye when she talks to them. Cookie will dance when no one else is dancing. Cookie can be loud. Cookie secretly likes being the center of attention. Cookie speaks up. Cookie raises her hand. Cookie is the first to volunteer to lead a project… That’s why no one believes me when I tell them that I’m painfully shy. It’s not obvious. I’ve learned how to cope with it and cover it up. When I tell people I’m shy, most people say “Whatever, you? Ha!” But to prove my statement is true, here are some of the top Cookie-shyness indicators:

· I absolutely HATE walking into a bar by myself; or any other social gathering venue, for that matter. I have momentary internal panic attacks, especially when I don’t immediately see the people I’m meeting.

· I let people cut in front of me in line and I don’t say anything. In traffic, I’ll honk, but that’s only because I’m protected by my windshield and sunglasses.

· I can’t kiss a boy I like first. I always wait for him to make the move. And when he does, I get all clammy and nervous.

· I fidget. Even when I’m leading a conversation and looking you in the eye, I’m playing with something…my rings, my hair, a drink straw, my finger nails, or anything else near by. When I’m at a bar, it’s rare that I don’t have a drink in my hand, even if I’m not really drinking it.

· I smile and laugh a lot. Mostly because I’m just a very happy person, but sometimes it happens because I’m nervous, and that’s my instinct reaction to beat the butterflies in my stomach.

· When I’m calling someone new, it takes me at least 10 minutes of sitting there looking at the phone number and planning what to say before I’ll actually make the call. In the same respect, I don’t answer the phone when I don’t know the number because I can’t prepare myself for what might go on during the call.

· I’d rather e-mail a client than speak to the client on the phone. I do it anyway, because it’s part of my job, but it’s a painful process. I always take a deep breath before I make the call.

· When I’m meeting up with someone, I hate to be the first one there. Perhaps that’s why I’m always 10 minutes late for everything I do (I run on what my friends call ‘Jess-time’).

· I don’t tell people off to their faces. I rarely get mad at people anyway, but when I do, it’s usually over e-mail. I hate conflict.

· My first response to a difficult question is ‘um.’

· My heart races a mile a minute when I have to do anything that requires being extroverted or social. I do it all the time, but that doesn’t mean my insides aren’t mush.

See – there you have it. Cookie really IS shy.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Single in her Late 20s

I’m wondering if I’ve become a commitment-phobe.

About four years ago, I was hanging out with a friend who had just broken up with his girlfriend and was looking for a fast hook-up at the bar to take his mind off of it. I remember him saying something that stuck with me. To paraphrase generously, he said “The best chicks to scope out are those pushing 30…you know, 28/29, still single, starting to get desperate for a boyfriend…they’re always prime targets to fall for a sweet line.” I was 24 at the time and thought ‘lord, never let me be one of those desperate late-20s women.’

Here I am, late 20s; female; single. Will I fall for a sweet line? Absolutely! But that’s always been true for me, ever since high school (or maybe even elementary school, like when Teddy told me he thought I looked pretty with my new hairstyle…I think I day-dreamed about him for the next year). But desperate for a boyfriend? Couldn’t be farther from the truth. I made enough mistakes in my younger 20s with the men I chose, that in my earned wisdom, I realize I need to take my time finding Mr. Right-for-Me. Relationships are wonderful, and actually preferable to the dating scene, but being in a relationship just for the sake of it is not a valid option. Of course most of us at this age want husbands and babies, but contrary to popular belief, we don’t want them from the first person who takes us out on a nice date. At this point, we’ve been through enough to know exactly what it is we’re looking for and will settle for nothing less than we deserve. Most girls say it, late-20s single girls mean it. Being single at this point is a choice.

So I arrive back to my commitment-phobe theory. I’ve been through a failed relationship recently, I’m aware of what made it fail, and I’m confident that I know what it will take for the next one to succeed. I also feel like the next person I commit to I’ll probably end up marrying. Deep thought for someone who is enjoying where she is in life right now. Yes, we still do the ‘does his last name sound good with my first name’ thing when we first meet you, but that’s just a female quirk. We’ve picked baby names for our non-existent babies too. Trust me when I say; this doesn’t mean we’re trying to scam you into marrying us within 6 months of our first date. Why rush the relationship? It’s not like my baby-making wells are drying up, I still have lots of time to get there. Patience is a virtue, something the men I meet will have to understand.

Back to Work Blues

Not gonna lie, it's SO hard to go from this...

Cruise ship in Cabo

Jen and Jess scuba diving

Dad and Jess kayaking

Jess Parasailing

View down the cliffs of Deer Island

...back to work. Work pays for my ability to have amazing vacations like this, but wouldn't it be amazing if we could just skip the work part and vacation our entire lives? Day 2 of being back in the office...sigh...

Monday, July 18, 2005

Ghost of the Ex

It didn't end well. Which is VERY unusual for me. I take my relationships and my friendships seriously and it takes a lot for me to intentionally cut ties. I'd like to say I'm close to everyone else I've dated, just not him. I'll spare you the details of our tumultuous on-again, off-again, love affair that finally crashed nose-dive into rocks. There's really no need. He's back with his previous ex, and I'm happily dating good men who open doors, pay for dinner, and call me frequently (they ARE out there, go figure). We've both moved on.

The only reason I even bring this up is, despite the fact that I've asked him civilly not to correspond with me, that we aren't friends, and we really have nothing to talk about, I still get these e-mails from him every once in a while (like I did this week while I was on vacation) that say things like "free slurpees at 7-11, today only, wanna join me for one?" Okay, I know I'm on the bcc line, and he probably just sends those e-mails to everyone in his address book, but can't he just remove me - out of courtesy? It's not like he doesn't know my phone number and my e-mail god forbid there's ever a reason he actually needs to get in touch with me. I don't like seeing his name in my inbox. It brings up pangs of sadness, anger, annoyance, frustration, and the desire to pull out some of my hair. Momentary loss of breath, increased heart beat, clenched teeth, knotted forehead, disappearing smile... Even though the feeling goes away as soon as I hit delete, that overload of negativity sticks with me, and reappears in my dreams.

For the love of god, please stop sending me Starbuck's freebies and info on Ben and Jerry's free scoop day. I am doing just fine without you...

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Vacation Hiatus

Sometimes, you just have to get away. This blogger will be off this week for a cruise of the 'Mexican Riviera' drinking frozen margaritas and basking in the pacific sun. Check back next week...

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Older Man Theory

I was visiting my old college roommate from 4th year recently (can you tell I went to UVA?). She and I were doing our requisite catch-up on the balcony of her apartment. Her hubby was running errands, her 18 month old was napping, and the 7-month bump in her belly hadn’t popped yet, so I was able to get a few minutes of precious alone time with her. After filling me in on her crazy married life with kids (amazing how life can take you down such different paths when you graduate!), she asked about my love life, not realizing I’d broken up with my ex five months prior. I laughed, gave her some illustrative examples of why we were no longer together, and assured her that I was quite content in my search for the next lucky man.

Her response: “Girl, you need to date a 40 year old.” Huh? Random. I asked her why she thought that. “Because, you have your shit together, you’re an awesome catch, and you aren’t going to find your equal in a boy our age…they’re still too busy screwing around. An older man will step to the plate and treat you like a lady.” She wouldn’t budge from her philosophy. She claimed she could only see me with an older man and anything in between was just incidental.


Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Unfortunate Birthmark

I promised the proof. To set the record straight, it is a birthmark, not a hickey!

Hickeys were hilarious when we were eight (sometimes self-induced on our arms - come on, admit it), embarrassing when we were young teens (but we still got high-fives for having made out with a hottie) and mortifying by the time we hit college. I've had this little guy since I was born. Sweet, harmless, and located in just about the worst place one could have a strawberry-coloured birthmark. For those who have asked me about it, I'm glad you did. At least I can explain it...would I 'really' wear my hair up if I was sporting a big phat hickey on my neck?

birthmark pic

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

You're Getting Called Out

After a chance encounter with a few people this weekend who clearly deserve notariety for their bumbling idiocy and negative-Z-game (as far away from A-game as you can get), I've decided to start a series of posts entitled "You're Getting Called Out." Here are this weekend's Cookie Call-Outs:

Runner-Up: Tim Foley, the Jay (of Jay and Silent Bob) look-a-like who hopped in a cab at 3am with Kathryn and me, hoping to get a lift to Rosslyn (we were headed in that direction). After listening to his incessant banter in the front seat of the cab, we finally pulled up at his house. The driver told us all that Tim's fare will be $15. He paused, didn't respond, then got out of the cab and walked away. Kathryn and I warned the driver that we don't know this guy and didn't want to get stuck paying his fare. The cab driver rolled his window down and shouted to Tim "excuse me...you need to pay." Tim responded "but I never pay more than $8 for a cab from Georgetown." Has this man ever heard of a tip? And if he thought $15 was outrageous, why not say something instead of just walking away to leave the ladies who already graciously offered to share their cab with him to cover his fare? Thankfully, Tim walked back to the cab and handed the driver a few bills, which looked to be a couple of ones and maybe a five. Poor form! Ladies, if you ever have someone named Tim Foley try to share a cab with you, tell him no!!


Winner: This is a picture of a table full of not-so-gentlemen at Indebleu on Friday night. The one on the right was eyeing (borderline ogling) one of the POP girls at the CPMC table. She thought 'hmm, he's sort of cute, I'll go talk to him.' About 20 minutes later, POP-girl comes back to report that it was a total mistake to have gone by their table. Apparently, one of the boys at the table told POP-girl that she should make herself a beverage. So at a pause in the conversation, she took him up on his offer. She began to put together a red bull and vodka. Half way through her pour, dark-blue-shirt boy told her she was making the drink incorrectly. She told him thanks, but she was okay, she knew what she was making. He then got fiesty, grabbed the bottle of alcohol out of her hand, told her that they had paid $200 for the table and she could just go and buy her own drink. WHAT??? Who does that? First, who is so pressed that he has to flaunt the measly $200 he paid for table service (and apparently the rights to be a jackass). Second, he already knew she had her own table and wasn't there to mooch off his. Third, who does this guy think he is talking to a beautiful woman like that? He clearly needs some lessons in manners. NEXT!

Independence Day Weekend

HUGE thanks to the CPMC for providing endless entertainment this weekend. Not sure many of our pictures can actually be posted...Here are just a few that can (for more, check out CPMC's display):

Blog Girls
Girl in DC, the Florist, Kathryn, a POP member and Cookie. Early in the evening before the dancing began...

Kat and Jess
Kathryn and Cookie.

Producer Hugs
Hugs from the Producer.

Baby Brits
Baby Brits at the puppy-infested O.G. (we promised they'd make the blog).

Boat and feet
Day on the boat (that was my attempt at artistic photography).

Fireworks on the CPMC Party balcony.

Penny Lane's Sparklers
Miss Penny Lane playing with fire.

Senator and Florist
The Senator and the Florist.

Red Rooster
Posing with the Red Rooster.

Corey Hart
Props to Corey Hart.

Boston and Yankees
Is this even possible?

Jess, Kat, Senator
Cookie, Kathryn and the Senator.

Friday, July 01, 2005


What kind of Canadian would I be if I didn't give props to the homeland on Canada Day?
  • Yes, it IS coincidence that our version of Independence Day is this close to July 4th.
  • No, Canada is not the 51st State.

Here is my ode to Canada and the things that I love about it:

sleemans ale

Beer. Canadian beer rules. Especially Sleemans. Plain and simple. It's what we do. Drink beer. Breakfast, lunch and dinner and all the times in between.

Timbits. Canadians love their donuts and have a donut store on every block.

Poutine (pronounced poo-tsin). The glorious 'how to become obese in one meal' snack that Canadians revere. There is even a Quebecois restaurant that serves 'foie gras poutine.' Good thing Canadians have 'free' healthcare...we need it.

Prime Ministers. For now we have Paul Martin as our ineffectual G-8 placeholder. Wonder if G-Dub even noticed that Jean Poutine isn't in power anymore?

Curling. Canada's life-size version of shuffleboard. People of any shape/age hurl 42 pound rocks down a slat of ice, influence the path of the rock by sweeping the ice with brooms, and shout 'haaaaaard... haaaaaaaaaaard...' in the attempt to knock the opponents' stones from the ice. This is all done while drinking beer, of course. It's a rare occasion (pronounced oh-cay-jhun) that Canadians don't walk away with an Olympic gold medal in this 'sport.' I think that's because only Canadians play it.

bob and doug mckenzie
Bob and Doug McKenzie. Ever seen Strange Brew? If not, take off, eh?

The Hip. Best band ever. The lead singer plays a banana-shaped maraca and the song lyrics make no sense (e.g. "Nothing's dead down here, just a little tired. They'd say, 'baby eat this chicken slow, it's full of all them little bones.'"). I met Gord Downie once at the 9:30 club. He was high. I'm holding out to have his babies...

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