DC Cookie

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Controversy Thursday: Sam Walton was an Evil Genius

For years my coupon-cutting Grandma refused to shop at Wal-mart preaching the evils of an American behemoth, heartlessly devouring mom and pop shops like an obese hippopotamous. But when she realized her crusade was costing her precious pension dollars, she stubbornly converted.

Personally, I have never had a problem with Wal-mart. Perhaps because my finance-mind knows that big-business is vital to the economy; perhaps because I can always find the loopholes in studies like these (Wal-mart employees could be using more public welfare services because they have been educated to know they are available?); or perhaps because the entrancing low-low prices have forced me into an un-jaded, coma-like ignorance.

Regardless, you have to respect a company that single-handedly has the 19th largest GDP in the world (higher than Sweden). So what if a typical Wal-mart employee earns $18,000 and can't afford health insurance coverage? So what if Wal-mart employs illegal immigrants as janitors and steamrolls suffering independent businesses in non-cosmopolitan economic regions? So what if Wal-mart abuses international labour laws and refuses to hire unionized employees?

What do I care? Last week I saved $4 on a 32-pack of toilet paper...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

JT's Hot Spot (Literally)

Dear Play,

I hear JT was 'illin' at your place on Friday night. FYI, his new song is called "SexyBack" not "SweatyBack."


Seriously, if you can't afford AC, I'd be happy to return and buy a few more rounds so that you can. When the humidity in the club is worse than outdoors, people are going to stop coming...



Thursday, August 24, 2006

Controversy Thursday: Casting Stones

Has anyone seen Lance Bass' boyfriend? Holy hell, he's beautiful (oh wait, I forgot, I don't believe in hell).

Reichen Lehmkuhl

I was proud of Lance for coming out of the closet. Shoot, if I were dating one of the hottest men on earth, I would too. Doesn't change his wholesome, good-little-christian-boy image at all...or does it?

In a people magazine article, one female reader blasted Lance for claiming to be a Christian given the "abominable" lifestyle he has chosen; one which is (according to her) strictly understood to be forbidden under Christian law. This mindset is something I've always struggled with. Do the old school chronicles written way back in say, 5 A.D. 'really' describe homosexuality as repugnant and sinful, or is that just man's contemporary interpretation? Isn't the base of Christianity really about ethics and faithfulness? And who does that woman think she is judging Lance Bass' devotion to Christianity? It's not her place to determine who is truly a Christian and who isn't; it's God's. She who casts the first stone...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The Challenge

Being on the road for work can be tough on one's figure. Especially when you're burning the midnight oil and ordering room service. So instead of lamenting the few extra pounds I've gained, I'm making it interesting and easy for myself to drop them again.

The terms: $200.
The competition: My co-worker.
The duration: 1 month.
The goal: 8 pounds (yeah, that's a stretch for me). Weigh-in Aug. 21. Weigh-out Sept. 21.

If I reach my goal, then I keep my money. If I don't reach my goal, but my co-worker does, then she gets my money. If I reach my goal, but my co-worker doesn't, then I get her money. If neither of us reach our goal, the buy-in goes to charity.

With a little petty cash on the line, the discipline is no longer voluntary.

Wish me luck.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


Promise to return for the controversy post this morning. Long nights at work have left me with little room for verbal creativity...

Monday, August 14, 2006

The Necklace

Some women have the uncanny ability to accept gifts from a man without feeling any sense of obligation; be that a round of drinks, dinner, jewelry, a spa vacation, or anything equally as generous. Regardless of the magnitude of the present, I unfortunately am not one of these women. Splurge for a first date, I'll pay for the second (shoots DCB's theory to shit). That's just the way I was raised. I have particular difficulty accepting gifts, no matter how innocuous and kind the gesture, from men whose relationship with me I know with certainty is not going to progress beyond the status quo.

It all began with my wonderful college sweetheart with whom I parted ways officially a few months after I graduated. We kept in close contact through long distance correspondence, but it was clear (at least to me anyway; I was young and much more ambiguous with the verbal expression of my intent back then) that our continued interaction was not going to lead to any aisle walking. As time passed and I became loosely involved with someone else, the frequency and intensity of our verbal exchanges dwindled. Two years later, on my birthday, I received a small package in the mail addressed from him. I opened the parcel to a dropped jaw; he had sent me an exquisite diamond-studded necklace with a card suggesting that the beauty of the accessory paled in comparison to my own, but when he spotted it in the jeweler's case, he knew he had to buy it for me as a token of my inestimable value. At which point my heart became overwrought with guilt. However he felt about me to have made such a purchase, I could never reciprocate. It broke my heart that the proof of our disparate feelings for each other was hanging as physical evidence at my collarbone. Instead of simply saying thank you, I tried to give the necklace back, which in hindsight was probably the equivalent of pouring brine into his scar tissue.

This is not a lone incident. I have offended a multitude of men whose kindness I equate with expectations that I cannot fulfill. In my gentle heart's effort to be tender with people's affection, I frequently seem to end the match by throwing an unintentional blindside of a left hook. I'm just completely incapable of taking without giving back in return; and although I won't apologize for this trait that makes me the predominantly selfless person that I am, I will ask forgiveness of my college sweetheart and all men who have followed for the emotional confusion I may have caused.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Controversy Thursday: Cain and Abel

I wear rose-coloured glasses. I was raised to see the bright side, to encourage the positive, to rejoice in happy moments and to laud smiles over frowns. In this warped state of perpetual happiness, I am virtually incapable of believing in hell. I believe in mercy. I believe in forgiveness. I believe that if a higher supreme being is all these things, how could [s]he possibly permit any of her painstakingly hand-embroidered souls to 'burn' so-to-speak for "eternity." Couple days maybe to torture us back to the straight and narrow path, but forever?

F*ck that. I don't buy it.

Monday, August 07, 2006

The Adventures of Pink Minx


Blog happy hour began all innocently - The Dynamic Trio and the double fist representing.



But then out came 'Pink Minx' and tame was thrown by the wayside.

Pink Minx fixes her lipstick.

Pink Minx canoodles with her co-hostess.

Pink Minx hides from her paparazzi.

Pink Minx has a shy moment.

Pink Minx goes extra light on the mayo.

Pink Minx plays the bongo drums.

Pink Minx befriends some patrons.

Pink Minx dances to some house.

Pink Minx ponders her next saucy beverage.

And shares it with her BFF.

Namast-Fed goes Minx for a minute.

Pink and Man
Pink Minx has her drinks purchased for her.

Pink and Bouncer
And her club covers waived.

But when she loses interest in men as play-things for the evening...

She hails a taxi to take her and Namaste to late night brunch with virginal waiters.

This, my friends, is just the beginning...

Friday, August 04, 2006

Friday Surprise

Yesterday in the early morning hours I got a call from one of my very BFFs as she waited in London's Heathrow airport. She had been in Israel for just over a month. Her stay was supposed to last 60 days, but after a car bomb exploded on the side of the road too close for comfort to the bus on which she was traveling, she went straight to Tel Aviv and booked a flight home. The country, after all, is at war. I picked her up at the airport last night and in all my delirious exhaustion from business travel, I still couldn't help but smile and be ever thankful for her safe return.

And since she's in town unexpectedly, I thought, why not surprise the bloggerati with an appearance by the dynamic trio. Is it the end of the work day yet?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Controversy Thursday: For the Kids, a Mug of Molson

This topic brought to you [very loosely, because I am appalled that Mel Gibson's DUI is front page news; so much so that I don't even want to write about it] from a suggestion made by my faithful reader WiBber.

Maybe it's the European influence from my Canadian upbringing that causes me to say that I think the setting of a legal drinking age is moronic. I firmly believe that my ability to hold my liquor and act [relatively] responsibly while intoxicated stems directly from the fact that a) I have responsible parents who I emulate (ok, so they don't dance on stages after doing soco-lime shots with hot bartenders...but that's beside the point; I did say 'relatively') and b) I was not coerced by government-imposed limitations into associating alcohol with rebellion. I was raised on juice and milk with my meals, but once I hit my teens, if I wanted to share a cold one pool-side with my pops I was always permitted. A small glass of pinot noir during a momentous family gathering was encouraged instead of proscribed. I have always viewed alcohol in moderation as a welcome social garnishment because, where I grew up, we were not endoctrinated to think of drinking as illicit and anarchistic. We didn't pound, we savoured. We didn't gorge, we relished. Given my upbringing, by the time I got to a college, getting fall-down blotto from a keg stand just didn't appeal to me.

Believe you me, when my kids are mature adolescents I will absolutely share a frosty Sleeman's honey brown with them on a 100+ degree day like today. And I won't give two hoots that Mr. Washington (or maybe even Mr. Ottawa) mandates that I legally have to wait until they're 21. Horse-dung. I'd rather have them learn early on how to taste the grapes in their reisling than chug 4 bottles of Boone's Farm behind my back.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Don't Forget

Summer HH

Sorry - when you work until 2am and you're back up at 6:30am to rinse and repeat, it's hard to come up with more content than this.

See y'all there!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Birthday Etiquette

Because my old 'douchebag ex' (as I so fondly labeled him before we reconciled) is celebrating his birthday in a few days and because Lil Sis debated this very issue at the commencement of the summer when her ex-boyfriend's birthday approached (it was the first birthday of his in 7 years that she hadn't helped him celebrate), I thought it apt to broach the subject. What exactly is the etiquette around contacting a former flame on his birthday? I personally have always said a little "hey, hope you have a good one" to all of my exes on their birthdays, no matter what the circumstances of our separation. Birthdays are shrouded with significance. Because it means something to me to receive that pat on the back for reaching all my requisite milestones towards infinite wisdom, I like to return the favour by wishing those who are, or were once, close to me their due 'Feliz CumpleaƱos.'

Besides, even if you hate your exes, you could always say "Congrats on making it one year closer to your death..."

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