DC Cookie

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Birthday Etiquette

Because my old 'douchebag ex' (as I so fondly labeled him before we reconciled) is celebrating his birthday in a few days and because Lil Sis debated this very issue at the commencement of the summer when her ex-boyfriend's birthday approached (it was the first birthday of his in 7 years that she hadn't helped him celebrate), I thought it apt to broach the subject. What exactly is the etiquette around contacting a former flame on his birthday? I personally have always said a little "hey, hope you have a good one" to all of my exes on their birthdays, no matter what the circumstances of our separation. Birthdays are shrouded with significance. Because it means something to me to receive that pat on the back for reaching all my requisite milestones towards infinite wisdom, I like to return the favour by wishing those who are, or were once, close to me their due 'Feliz Cumpleaños.'

Besides, even if you hate your exes, you could always say "Congrats on making it one year closer to your death..."


cookie_image2 posted by DC Cookie @ 6:43 AM  

17 Comments:

  • At August 01, 2006 3:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Geez it's no wonder they send all those Canadians on all those peace missions. Both of you, Polly Pure Hearts! Decent kind & true, they'll be coming by to deport you in the morning. You making the rest of us look bad! No, that's not the way to get over your 'douchebag ex's'!! The idea is to send them some gag gift on your birthday to tell them about all the fun and good times they're missing out on! Forget 'em. If they could not come across in 7 years(!!), they're unworthy of your consideration. Ditto for the redneck. Flush 'em from the flash memory banks. That way it's easier to move on. Cheers & Good Luck! 'VJ'

     

  • At August 01, 2006 9:42 AM, Blogger Phil said…

    Is it any different than the etiquette for a call to a friend you have never personally met at midnight to wish them Happy Birthday a week early?

     

  • At August 01, 2006 9:55 AM, Blogger Heather B. said…

    Besides, even if you hate your exes, you could always say "Congrats on making it one year closer to your death..."

    HAHAHAHA that's awesome. And totally something that I would say.

    (I just realized that I'm going to see you on Friday. Which is kind of awesome)

     

  • At August 01, 2006 10:40 AM, Blogger KassyK said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     

  • At August 01, 2006 10:40 AM, Blogger KassyK said…

    I would take the stupid way out and send a free Hallmark e-card online. AHAHA.

     

  • At August 01, 2006 10:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I suggest sending a simple email saying Happy Birthday, Feliz Cumpleanos or Bon Anniversaire, as long as it doesn't lead to the rapid back-to-back email replies that leaves you both spinning your wheels. Ex's are Ex's for a reason.

     

  • At August 01, 2006 11:25 AM, Blogger Sparklebot said…

    Some exes don't deserve acknowledgment of their existence, while others are fond memories. Congratulate the fond ones. Ignore the rest!

     

  • At August 01, 2006 11:54 AM, Blogger ezmeralda said…

    I call them all and usually cross my fingers that I get the answering machine. I leave a nice message: "Hi, 'tis Ezmy. Have a fabulous birthday. Toodles" and that's it. For the long ago ones, this says it all. For the relatively recent one, this says hey, I still care that you are alive and well and no more.

     

  • At August 01, 2006 12:40 PM, Blogger Carrie Broadshoulders said…

    My ex and I split last fall. I sent him an email in February telling him Happy Birthday and he sent on in April on my birthday saying the same. He responded to my email saying thank you and that it was nice I remembered. I did not reply to his in April. I think it's okay to do it the first birthday after the breakup, but after that, if there's no contact of any sort, why bother?
    I won't be emailing him to wish him another one, that's for sure.

     

  • At August 01, 2006 1:16 PM, Blogger Freckled K said…

    Do you mind if I steal that closer to death line? I was going to stop sending my ex b-day emails, but just one more couldn't hurt!

     

  • At August 01, 2006 2:56 PM, Blogger Barbara said…

    Unless you part on really good terms, I would say scratch that one from your date book. It will just serve to remind you of anger and/or pain otherwise.

     

  • At August 01, 2006 3:08 PM, Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said…

    You know I would never contact him again. But I wouldn't reconcile. I'm actually GLAD I can't remember most of my exes' bdays.

    And Phil, you KNOW that's different, and most welcome.

     

  • At August 01, 2006 3:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Bah, I think it's a waste of time. What purpose does it serve? Who benefits more from the act? ... "look at me, aren't I a big person." or "look at me, barely over you" or "look at me, twisting the knife"

    To put that in context... I could give a flying flip if anyone remembers my birthday outside my immediate family... and barely that.

     

  • At August 01, 2006 5:10 PM, Blogger The Senator said…

    I think it depends on the person. I recognize almost all of my exes b'days. It is the kind thing to do, if we are friend(s)(ly).

    There is one that I refuse to acknowledge.

     

  • At August 01, 2006 5:53 PM, Blogger Lucy said…

    I've never bothered -- in the case of one ex, because we parted on bad terms, and in the case of the other - well, his last birthday happened to fall on the day AUA and I decided to move in together. And it would have just been weird to acknowledge both in the same day.

     

  • At August 01, 2006 7:34 PM, Blogger La'Tina said…

    text message is always acceptable. I send out mass ones on holidays to everyone in my book, friend or foe!

     

  • At August 02, 2006 2:53 PM, Blogger tommy said…

    Wow Cookie....that was kinda of a harsh post....lol...you need some sleep. ;-)

     

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