Absence Doesn't Just Make the Heart Grow Fonder

I'm writing this post because I have her on the brain.



This past weekend, the babies of the family (who are no longer exactly babies) came to visit me. I played tour-guide for my cousins - 10 and 8 year-old sisters who are virtually siamese. From the moment they knocked on my glass door holding hands, I couldn't help but daydream longingly about the period in my life when I had the same relationship with my own sister.

I was the first child, niece, grandchild and great-grandchild on my mother's side of the family; doted on from every corner. So when Lil Sis entered my life, that squirrel-cheeked, even-tempered, blonde angel who hardly ever cried, I fell in love privately. I loved her more than any toy, but given an audience, I resented having to work so hard for the limelight that was once exclusively mine.



No matter what activity I decided to engage in, Lil Sis would look at me wide-eyed and hopeful that I would include her. She idolized me unconditionally. I would pretend that her participation in my playtime was an annoyance, but I adored her company. The more I abused her affection, the more she gave. When we coloured, I'd give her the white and gold crayons while I kept the shades of the rainbow. When we made sticker art, she'd lick the stickers and I'd paste them creatively on the page. When we built forts, I got the master bedroom. When we upgraded our household appliances, I took the fridge box to make a cardboard house and she got the dishwasher box. When we played piano duets, I lead with the melody. When I taught her how to play blackjack I was always the dealer (although I did feel guilty enough to give her dimes back after I'd won)... At any rate, we became inseparable.





We shared halloween costumes, a bathroom, notebooks, a dog, poems, jump ropes, stuffed animals, clothes, acne medicine, our first car, chores, celebrity crushes, quirky stories about our quirky relatives, and sometimes even a bed during a thunderstorm.





Then one day, despite my years of denial, it dawned on me. My life without the introduction of Lil Sis could only ever have been half as wonderful, and my life with the departure of Lil Sis in any capacity leaves me slightly empty. She's my confidante, my unfailing supporter, my DNA and my biggest fan. And if she doesn't realize it, I am also hers.

This week my posts are officially dedicated to Lil Sis...because I miss her madly.