Single in her Late 20s

I’m wondering if I’ve become a commitment-phobe.

About four years ago, I was hanging out with a friend who had just broken up with his girlfriend and was looking for a fast hook-up at the bar to take his mind off of it. I remember him saying something that stuck with me. To paraphrase generously, he said “The best chicks to scope out are those pushing 30…you know, 28/29, still single, starting to get desperate for a boyfriend…they’re always prime targets to fall for a sweet line.” I was 24 at the time and thought ‘lord, never let me be one of those desperate late-20s women.’

Here I am, late 20s; female; single. Will I fall for a sweet line? Absolutely! But that’s always been true for me, ever since high school (or maybe even elementary school, like when Teddy told me he thought I looked pretty with my new hairstyle…I think I day-dreamed about him for the next year). But desperate for a boyfriend? Couldn’t be farther from the truth. I made enough mistakes in my younger 20s with the men I chose, that in my earned wisdom, I realize I need to take my time finding Mr. Right-for-Me. Relationships are wonderful, and actually preferable to the dating scene, but being in a relationship just for the sake of it is not a valid option. Of course most of us at this age want husbands and babies, but contrary to popular belief, we don’t want them from the first person who takes us out on a nice date. At this point, we’ve been through enough to know exactly what it is we’re looking for and will settle for nothing less than we deserve. Most girls say it, late-20s single girls mean it. Being single at this point is a choice.

So I arrive back to my commitment-phobe theory. I’ve been through a failed relationship recently, I’m aware of what made it fail, and I’m confident that I know what it will take for the next one to succeed. I also feel like the next person I commit to I’ll probably end up marrying. Deep thought for someone who is enjoying where she is in life right now. Yes, we still do the ‘does his last name sound good with my first name’ thing when we first meet you, but that’s just a female quirk. We’ve picked baby names for our non-existent babies too. Trust me when I say; this doesn’t mean we’re trying to scam you into marrying us within 6 months of our first date. Why rush the relationship? It’s not like my baby-making wells are drying up, I still have lots of time to get there. Patience is a virtue, something the men I meet will have to understand.