DC Cookie: Older Man Theory

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Older Man Theory

I was visiting my old college roommate from 4th year recently (can you tell I went to UVA?). She and I were doing our requisite catch-up on the balcony of her apartment. Her hubby was running errands, her 18 month old was napping, and the 7-month bump in her belly hadn’t popped yet, so I was able to get a few minutes of precious alone time with her. After filling me in on her crazy married life with kids (amazing how life can take you down such different paths when you graduate!), she asked about my love life, not realizing I’d broken up with my ex five months prior. I laughed, gave her some illustrative examples of why we were no longer together, and assured her that I was quite content in my search for the next lucky man.

Her response: “Girl, you need to date a 40 year old.” Huh? Random. I asked her why she thought that. “Because, you have your shit together, you’re an awesome catch, and you aren’t going to find your equal in a boy our age…they’re still too busy screwing around. An older man will step to the plate and treat you like a lady.” She wouldn’t budge from her philosophy. She claimed she could only see me with an older man and anything in between was just incidental.

Interesting…

31 Comments:

At July 07, 2005 1:29 PM, I-66 said…

...right. Is your friend's husband 40? I wonder from where her frame of reference comes.
At July 07, 2005 1:30 PM, DC Cookie said…

Nope, he's the same age as us. Perhaps he's the exception?
At July 07, 2005 1:48 PM, Linz said…

i think there's definitely a valid point in that observation...especially judging from the caliber of men "up here" in DC in the 20-30-something age range (at least the ones i've met)...they all might as well still be in college :P
At July 07, 2005 1:55 PM, Kathryn Is So Over said…

Linz, you are so right. Cookie joined me on my "mission" to Gtown on Friday night, where we were surrounded by *very* recent college graduates, one big pack of them frat brothers gathered for the weekend, who even huddled up and got all weird at one point. BOYS.
At July 07, 2005 1:58 PM, A Unique Alias said…

I used to think along the same lines, myself. "I'm way too developed, mature, and focused to deal with flighty 20 to 24 year olds." and "What I need is a woman around the age of 30 who is done with all the BS."

Unfortunately, the women around that age whom I've dated seem so focused on the frightening possibility of becoming a spinster that they quickly get possessive.
At July 07, 2005 2:07 PM, DC Cookie said…

Don't we call them 'cougars?' MEOW!
At July 07, 2005 2:13 PM, Anonymous said…

my boyfriend is 10 years older than me and its fantastic...highly recommend dating someone older
At July 07, 2005 2:35 PM, I-66 said…

not a big fan of suggesting that one date a 40 year old when the suggesting individual has not done so herself... or maybe that's just me being nitpicky...
At July 07, 2005 2:54 PM, The Senator said…

Didn't you go out with one last night?
At July 07, 2005 3:04 PM, maisnon said…

Here's the thing: some guys get to 40 (or more) and are stilll single...well...b/c there are reasons they are single. Not all, certainly, but some.
At July 07, 2005 3:20 PM, Crazy Girl City said…

I have 2 friends who are in their late 20s. They will only date men above 40. I don't get it really. I am almost 30, yet, most men over 40 remind me of my dad.
At July 07, 2005 3:25 PM, DC Cookie said…

I say, why limit yourself? Black/white, rich/poor, young/old - the right guy can really come from any demographic if you're open to it.
At July 07, 2005 3:33 PM, Kathryn Is So Over said…

I think I need to do the counterpoint: Puppy Theory. I am a bit of an expert these days.

Expect it tomorrow...
At July 07, 2005 3:35 PM, Mamma Bear said…

My requirements are: Alive, job, nice teeth, taller than me, not an a$$hole, doesn't show up to my parties with ugly bucked tooth beavers (sorry 4th of july flash back), loves animals, etc.
But when it comes to guys, age matters very little.
At July 07, 2005 3:46 PM, I-66 said…

heyyyy now I thought we got past that Robin .. deep breaths.
At July 07, 2005 4:19 PM, Anonymous said…

Unfortunately, what Maisnon said may often be true regarding 40 and single. Assuming they are not divorced and have never been married or in any extended relationship, (and I am thinking of one specific person here... laughing...they could be textbook commitmentphobics. You can breathe easy, Mister. I'm not mentioning you by name.
At July 07, 2005 4:26 PM, DC Cookie said…

Senator: Yes, and I met the Mayor last night, although I think he's even out of my friend's recommended age range ;-)

What's this I hear about air conditioning units?
At July 07, 2005 4:28 PM, Linz said…

Kat, i can't wait to hear your Puppy Theory...i have one of my own, as well ;o)
At July 07, 2005 4:29 PM, roosh said…

"An older man will step to the plate and treat you like a lady."

like women really want that
At July 07, 2005 4:29 PM, Anonymous said…

Puppies have their pros. :)
At July 07, 2005 4:35 PM, DC Cookie said…

Katie Holmes wants it...
At July 07, 2005 4:36 PM, Mamma Bear said…

Puppies need to be potty trained and old dogs are set in their ways...let me find a nice 4 year old lab...playful and loyal.
At July 07, 2005 4:53 PM, roosh said…

i bet at 28 i'll be so much more mature and wise about life. i'll be able to focus on the things that are really important... like men's fashion.
At July 07, 2005 5:07 PM, Kathryn Is So Over said…

meow, cowgirl!
At July 07, 2005 8:27 PM, A Unique Alias said…

Someone slap the turntable . . . DCB is skipping again.
At July 08, 2005 8:04 AM, I-66 said…

ok...

call me crazy, Cookie, but did this guy just offload a plug for what is probably his book onto your blog?

It started off innocent enough but by the end of it I almost feel compelled to drop $10 on a book that I clearly don't need.

Almost.
At July 08, 2005 8:04 AM, Anonymous said…

A 40-year (especially one who is good looking and financially well off) can still be a 26-year old in sheep's clothing. Think about it...a 40-year that has never been married or maybe had a couple of broken engagements. I know a couple of these types (college roommates of my husband)...aging RAJ's (refer to Kathrynon for a definition of RAJ). They are often:

1.serial womanizers and are picky about the woman that accompanies them.

2. Unable to commit...can't get past the notion that there is someone better i.e. more beautiful, more successful and perhaps more interesting. Above all, physical beauty is prized and most important.

3. On the down low.
At July 08, 2005 11:53 AM, Anonymous said…

Ah too generalize...how grand.
At July 08, 2005 1:20 PM, Anonymous said…

Yeah, I happen to know that the friend's husband is 27. That's the frame of reference. ;O) But I gotta give this particular husband credit... he's slowly coming around to the required maturity level. They just need time to say their goodbyes to boyhood. I think that, on average, more men who are 40 have said these goodbyes--or are willing to say them--than men who are in their 20s.
At July 08, 2005 2:28 PM, lordscarlet said…

I didn't read all of the comments, so maybe something like this has been said. I'm making a grand assumption here that may be untrue, but maybe if all the guys you/said friend meet weren't from encounters at bars, you might not meet the immature types.
At July 11, 2005 11:54 PM, Anonymous said…

Cookie,
I think you said it best:

"...the right guy [or girl] can really come from any demographic if you're open to it."

-Kurt