Canadian-isms

What kind of Canadian would I be if I didn't give props to the homeland on Canada Day?

• Yes, it IS coincidence that our version of Independence Day is this close to July 4th.
• No, Canada is not the 51st State.

Here is my ode to Canada and the things that I love about it:

Beer. Canadian beer rules. Especially Sleemans. Plain and simple. It's what we do. Drink beer. Breakfast, lunch and dinner and all the times in between.

Timbits. Canadians love their donuts and have a donut store on every block.

Poutine (pronounced poo-tsin). The glorious 'how to become obese in one meal' snack that Canadians revere. There is even a Quebecois restaurant that serves 'foie gras poutine.' Good thing Canadians have 'free' healthcare...we need it.

Prime Ministers. For now we have Paul Martin as our ineffectual G-8 placeholder. Wonder if G-Dub even noticed that Jean Poutine isn't in power anymore?

Curling. Canada's life-size version of shuffleboard. People of any shape/age hurl 42 pound rocks down a slat of ice, influence the path of the rock by sweeping the ice with brooms, and shout 'haaaaaard... haaaaaaaaaaard...' in the attempt to knock the opponents' stones from the ice. This is all done while drinking beer, of course. It's a rare occasion (pronounced oh-cay-jhun) that Canadians don't walk away with an Olympic gold medal in this 'sport.' I think that's because only Canadians play it.

Bob and Doug McKenzie. Ever seen Strange Brew? If not, take off, eh?

The Hip. Best band ever. The lead singer plays a banana-shaped maraca and the song lyrics make no sense (e.g. "Nothing's dead down here, just a little tired. They'd say, 'baby eat this chicken slow, it's full of all them little bones.'"). I met Gord Downie once at the 9:30 club. He was high. I'm holding out to have his babies...

HAPPY CANADA DAY, hosers!