DC Cookie

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Earning the Name GQ

I have always adhered to the philosophy that there is no such thing as “falling out of love.” Despite the inevitable atrophy of a poorly functioning romantic relationship, if you truly love somebody, you will always have a place for him in your heart.

Since the inception of this blog I have consistently referred to my first post-college boyfriend as “the douchebag ex.” My relationship with him was turbulent, as many relationships are between a naive and blindly obliging young female and a stunningly handsome, magnetic, former NCAA athlete in their early 20s. Throughout the prime of our development into prudent and mature adulthood we tormented each other. Our passion was dramatic and intense, but unfocused; our trust was justifiably fleeting; and our uncertainties weighed heavily. In spite of the whole-hearted, unacceptable dysfunction, I loved the man. One day following a harrowing and sordid shouting match, I determined this instability was too much and I cut him out of my life entirely. Debates are one thing, but a love affair that tumultuous was draining, all-consuming and physically unhealthy. Just as we clapped for Ms. Britney yesterday, my friends applauded vigourously the decision they’d been dreaming I would make (and stick to) for years.

After I terminated our relationship, I never looked behind me romantically. I am much wiser and a much more suitable monogamous partner having left the dramatics and the baggage at the back door, but having carried forward an enlightened confidence and exponentially improved sense of calm. Regardless, my former lover had played such an influential role in my youth that from time to time in the period of silence that followed, I missed his friendship. Years later, when I was 100% assured that I could handle a constructive acquaintanceship, I began to converse with him again, slowly.

Our reunion occurred almost a year ago and our journey has finally brought us to the place of comfort that was intended; caring deeply for each other’s well being from afar and rejoicing in each other’s contentment. He told me in a conversation that we had just last week that he was happy to see me beaming about my new boyfriend, that he’d never heard my voice so giddy or my seen my face so youthfully blushed. I understand my ex almost better than his family, and I am certain his words were genuine.

I can finally say that I am thankful, proud even, to have him in my life. He has fought valiantly against his destructive demons to emerge on the greener side as a legitimate friend and as such, I am officially dropping the less-than-affectionate title of douchebag from his moniker.

11 Comments:

  • At November 08, 2006 4:21 PM, Blogger KassyK said…

    That was incredible. :-) I am so happy for you..

     
  • At November 08, 2006 4:36 PM, Blogger Freckled K said…

    I hope to be there someday as well, and your post confirms that it is possible. Thanks!

     
  • At November 08, 2006 4:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wow - can you have him talk to my ex? I have always felt that way about him (them, both of them) but I don't think they feel the same way.
    Happy for you!

     
  • At November 09, 2006 9:02 AM, Blogger El Guapo in DC said…

    Great post. Very well written. Cookie, you are my hero today.

     
  • At November 09, 2006 4:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Once again, how very disappointingly adult & mature Cookie. You'll be getting married soon, right? All the best to you and your well adjusted self & very lucky so& so BF. Cheers & Good Luck! 'VJ'

     
  • At November 09, 2006 8:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    cheers for keeping it positive. i can always count on cookie to find the silver lining. always!

     
  • At November 10, 2006 12:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Your my hero.....No really...

    Question-If your life had a theme soundtrack what would it be????

     
  • At November 10, 2006 1:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thanks for the new name!! I'm glad i've finally earned it... BTW, I’m floored by your laudatory remarks... I must confess though, that it is you through whom I wish to vicariously live.

    I've always enjoyed reading your blog - This one though, is my favorite :) Cheers!!

     
  • At November 12, 2006 4:35 AM, Blogger Miss Penny Lane said…

    happy birthday!! was great to see ya on saturday, even if it was just for a minute. shoot me those photos!

     
  • At November 13, 2006 7:43 PM, Blogger Mybrid said…

    The right post at the right time. Thanks for giving me the strength to believe that my ex-friend will get back to being my true friend. My post "If I Could" is about it.

     
  • At November 14, 2006 8:36 AM, Blogger Beakerz said…

    Happy Birthday (or so I'm told)

     

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