Lost Dog Syndrome

In multiple occasions over the past month I have initiated encounters with people who, on various levels of intimacy from acquantance to ex-boyfriend, have proved at some point over the course of our interactions (or relationship, if you will) capable of full-blown asscorn-itude. And in every instance, out of loving concern, my friends have questioned why I still deem these people worthy of my time.

Basically, it boils down to two things; my huge heart and my uncanny ability to shed my grudges. I don't forget, but I do forgive - openly, happily and wholly. Forgiving does not mean losing sight of who a person is and what s/he has done in his past. Forgetting would leave me vulnerable to repeat a mistake, but forgiving relieves me of the negative energy I might otherwise be burdened to harbour. Every person I have met on my life journey has taught me something valuable and the way I see it, as long as I understand exactly what each person can contribute to my growth, prior sins should not necessarily result in total ex-communication.

I have so much kindness to share with the world and if I refuse to (for example) talk to a man just because he was a total jackass of a boyfriend, how in the world will he ever become the better person I'd still love to think he is able to be if I completely shut him out as a friend (provided it is blatantly clear that I would never be willing to cycle back to our prior state of uber-flawed romance)?

My mom once told me she believes that I have a "stray dog syndrome." In my desire to save the world, I am drawn to people with problematic self-character issues that need fixing. She's probably right. Hence why my version of "worthy" is ultimately skewed.

At least I'm aware...