I Have Loved A Gentleman

There are men who come into your life who are sweet, tender, and treat you with the sort of gentle kindness that a woman deserves. There are men who come into your life who are reliable, safe and trustworthy. There are men who come into your life who make you laugh and help you take yourself less seriously. There are men who come into your life and physically blow you away, so much so that the thought of another man’s touch never enters your mind. There are men who come into your life whose embrace makes you feel as secure and warm as you did in your mother’s womb.



And then…there is Charming Fellow; the kind of man who is greater than the sum total of all the other men who have tried to win my heart before him. A man who stands so far apart from the pack that the minute he entered my life, I became a better person. I’m stronger. I’m more patient. I actually shave my legs now.

I have adored Charming Fellow since the moment we met, in a dusky bar, at the most inopportune of times. When the dust of previous lovers settled, we managed to find each other. After our first un-date (we both swore we were just friends), I came back to Namaste’s humble cottage and jumped around like a squealing teenager. When our first kiss left me in a puddle of speechlessness, I instantly stopped considering anyone else. When a few reckless, unguarded tears streamed from both of our faces during a heartfelt conversation, and I understood for the first time that I did, in fact, make the same lasting impression on him that he has made on me, I fell in love.



The clouds this morning were a welcome relief. In all my months of denial, even the electron-infused emotional connection that we so tenderly shared in those aching moments of hopeless expression does not change that I am vinegar and he is oil. Our desires are polar. There are more than one hundred things I would do to change this, but for now, the effort would be futile.

With nothing but the most honest admiration, Charming Fellow remains securely steadfast on the pedestal on which I put him from day one, and a piece of my heart will always belong to him. I would never ask for a single second of our time back. He is, without a doubt, a gift from above.

So with overwhelming and surprising sadness, forgive me if I disappear for a few moments to regroup. This Charming Fellow character has made quite the momentous impact on my sensory glands…

Besos,

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