Reading About Myself

I couldn't help it...

On 3/7/2006, Virgle Kent wrote [and Cookie added]:

"Deep into my blackout period I ran into an 'A' list DC blogger [who is even better looking in person than she is in her pictures] at Sign of the Wale [the humour of that particular typo is lost on everyone but me]. Another gay [small, crowded, annoying] midtown bar. Anyway I saw the A list blogger celebrity walking through the bar and I was like hey that’s that one blogger that 95% of other female bloggers try and imitate and stuff. I should say hi. It seemed like a good idea at the time. So I introduced myself, Hey you’re you and I’m Virgle Kent. Then before she said anything I got paranoid and started thinking to myself, 'what the fuck are you doing?' An interior dialogue was going on in my head of the possible scenarios that could possibly come of this [impossibly possible situation].

Scenario one: She has no clue who the fuck I am, so then I come off looking like one of those horny internet stalkers that have nothing else better to do with their life than read troll the internet. Hold up I am one of those horny internet stalkers. Shit!

Scenario two: She does know who I am and finds my material completely inappropriate and sexist. Then out of the fear of possibly being sodomized she pulls out her can of mace, sprays me in the face burning my retina and then kicks me in the balls. Shit maybe I should be nicer to girls on this blog. Nah, fuck that. [You forget, I'm friends with DCB. There is little you can say that will phase me.]

[Actual Scenario: On her way out the door of the bar to grab dinner, Cookie is stopped by a stranger who touches her exposed shoulder and says 'Excuse me.' Cookie thinks 'Ugh, another wasted guy trying to dance with me and get my number,' (these things happen frequently at bar crawls). Despite that, Cookie pauses for a second, because she's a compliment whore. V.K. had her at 'Are you DC Cookie?' Because that, my friends, was better than a 'you're hot' compliment any day, and definitely worth pausing for. Although Smash holds the title for first random sighting, this second recognition by Virgle Kent (and subsequent posting of the details) just inflated Cookie's narcissistic id into unchartered territories].

Instead I think she said that she actually has read my blog and she thought it was funny [confirmed]. Or she said that she read my blog and thought I was a dummy, or she might have even said cash rules everything around me, cream get the money. Dolla dolla bill ya’ll. In either case she was nice to me and didn’t spray me with mace. Her perfume was strong though [yeah, we're working on that]. Note to self drinking and making a good first impression do not mix. I truly hope I am not that drunk when I meet Brooke Burke."

[Kent-ster-ific - Hope to see you out at the happy hours sometime soon. I suspect the girls might have a thing for you... Although, in weak form, I won't be in attendance at this one, because I'm bailing for a hockey date. Priorities...]