Dear Annoying Concert Goers:

Here are a few pointers to keep the people in front of you at the show from losing their shit, turning around, and belting you in the eyeball:

1. Do not be a man screaming "I LOVE YOU JAMES" 15 times at full volume throughout the show. It was barely humourous the first time. The next 14 times were just...annoying.
2. Do not sing at the top of your lungs when nobody else is. We paid money to listen to James Blunt, not you.
3. Do not light up a cigarette and hold it below your waist (and out of your view) while dancing. You burn holes in people's pants, and that just isn't cool.
4. There is plenty of space so there is no need to stand so close that you're practically ass-humping me. Move back 1/2 a step.
5. As a super tall couple, please stand one in front of the other to canoodle, instead of side by side so your big siamese-esque heads aren't blocking half the stage for the rest of us.
6. Do not bring a giant, knit, hippy purse full of your crap and flail it around so it hits the ass of the people in front of you 200 times. Leave that shit at home. You're at a 2-hour freakin' concert, you don't need the kitchen sink with you.
7. Draft beer is a bad idea at a crowded concert. Stick to bottles so it doesn't spill on me.

Thanks!