DC Cookie: I Date Indian Men

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I Date Indian Men

...and white men, black men, asian men, persian men, mexican men, spanish men, irish men, italian men, eastern european men...really, what's the big deal?

My friend 32 sent me this article, and I decided to write about it from my perspective. A frustrating article, to say the least. As a white girl, I've dated my fair share of black men. My wonderful college sweetheart is a black man. My douche-bag ex is also a black man. And I've dated a few others in between and since. My biggest pet peeve? Being pigeon-holed as 'white girl who dates black guys.' I can't tell you how many times my friends say things like "Yeah, Cookie likes them dark." Yes, I do. I also like them any shade from pale ivory to burnt sienna, so stop throwing me into a bucket. I don't have a preference. I'm very open minded. I don't put limits on my dating pool. Are you male? Good, then at some level, I have considered you.

So please, when I'm out at a bar having a flirtatious conversation with a black guy, don't say something dumb and ignorant like, "I figured she'd like him, that's her type." First, if the people saying those things had done their research, this year alone I've gone out with white men 2 times more often than I have black men (the actual numbers behind that ratio, I will keep to myself). 'My type' is kind, sincere, handsome, intelligent, energetic, adventurous and athletic (among other characteristics...picky snatch that I am). It has nothing to do with skin colour, people - trust me.

33 Comments:

At October 05, 2005 11:38 AM, Anonymous said…

THIS IS YOUR BEST POST. I think people like to label because in the US that's what we do. We label. I have dated all types of women. However, as a black man that usually makes people assume you only date white women. It sort of sets you apart from other black people. However, I could give two shits. I have dated around the globe and found the one that I wanted. She has always been close by. Too bad I didn't notice earlier.
I also think most white guys would prefer not to date a white chick that has been with a black guy. Most wouldn't say it out loud. But the stats don't lie. I have seen it over and over. Makes no sense.
At October 05, 2005 11:41 AM, DC Cookie said…

Probably because they're intimidated by the 'stereotype' that black men have big...feet.
At October 05, 2005 12:30 PM, Asian Mistress said…

I don't care who dates who; I have friends who are white and date black, friends who are Persian and date hispanic, I'm asian and I date white. But I've also dated other races.

Who cares, as long as it's someone who understands you.

And for the record, Derek Jeter is hot and a celebrity. He can date whomever he wants, and she'll be lucky.
At October 05, 2005 12:47 PM, I-66 said…

Spot on, Cookie. I can't remember where I blogged this but the idea that one should date within one's race, and that one is a traitor for doing so, is Ludacris. On a very literal level, Jeter is multi-racial and as a result is he not a traitor to his "race" for not dating those with the same racial makeup as he? Let me not get started on this again...
At October 05, 2005 12:57 PM, DC Cookie said…

You're right. Kathryn showed me your post on that topic. Hence why I chose to use a slightly different angle.

Remember Bulworth's suggestion? If we all intermarry and interbreed, there will only be one race. A whole bunch of Halle Berrys and Derek Jeters... MEOW!
At October 05, 2005 1:02 PM, DC Cookie said…

Oh yeah - the post.
At October 05, 2005 1:10 PM, I-66 said…

I believe you've inadvertantly motivated me to expound upon what my type actually is...
At October 05, 2005 3:24 PM, roosh said…

according to one memorable gym locker room experience, the rumor is true
At October 05, 2005 3:36 PM, DC Cookie said…

Sean - what are you doing Friday? MEOW!
At October 05, 2005 4:25 PM, Way-to-go-Grace said…

Well put, cookie. You're probably the only woman I know who dates outside her race with a genuine indifference toward racial and cultural differences. Good for you.

That Jeter, though, man, does he like em pale. *wink*
At October 05, 2005 4:34 PM, Anonymous said…

I like that you wrote this. Right on point! I wish you would delve deeper into this issue and write more along these lines--all of us need to read/hear it....and grow up! Get over color people! Its only skin deep. The real person is underneath.
Oh, and one more thing. I'm sorry that your 'friends' are basically shallow or too afraid to date outside of their race. Perhaps they can't take the heat, or know that they can't take a 'dark' person home to mom or dad. Maybe it's just jealousy because they realize that your happiness is obviously not controlled by social or familial pressures/attitudes about skin colour or race. You get the big picture!

Way to go Cookie!

You know who it is.
At October 05, 2005 4:57 PM, Mamma Bear said…

I don't understand what the big deal about this is. If we all mix then there will be the one race that there is...human.
I too have been attracted to/dated black, white, asian, hispanic...
I am attracted to the person and not their skin.
Can't we all just get along ;o)
At October 05, 2005 5:05 PM, Anonymous said…

Great post, Cookie! I am with you! I have dated black, white, hispanic, and have serioulsy crushed on Persian, Asians and Middle Eastern men...although, I have mainly dated white men.

I do not get the big deal of dating different races. it's the 21st century! By now we should all know that people are people no matter what color they are. It is utterly ridiculous that someone would choose not to date someone based on race. I understand that people have preferences, but to say that you won't date someone because they are black, white, Asian, etc. is ignorant. If you choose to be ignorant than that is your perogative...but you are a dumbass!

I cannot wait until all the races are inter-mingled. That is what I love about New York...some of the most beautiful people are there. You ask someone their racial make-up and they will say something like, My Mom is Japanese and Hatian and my Dad is Irish and Cuban". I can't wait until we are all like that.

People need to get over hating on interracial dating.
At October 05, 2005 5:59 PM, Anonymous said…

Interestingly enough cookie not many of your friends seemed to reply. HMM
At October 05, 2005 6:03 PM, DC Cookie said…

My friends aren't bloggers. They read sometimes, but never comment. Not their thing.
At October 06, 2005 12:20 AM, VP of Dior said…

i really like it when black men yell at me for dating white men...**dripping with sarcasm**. i'm so over the "must date within your race/religion thing". frankly, it bores me and how else would i learn about things like hockey and jet-skiing if i didn't date white guys??!?!? go caps! haha
At October 06, 2005 4:09 AM, Anonymous said…

Geez, how very Canadian of you. And I mean that in the most honorable sense. Here's hoping that you find someone with a decent fit soon. Cheers, 'VJ'
At October 06, 2005 10:19 AM, Lucy said…

Amen, Cookie. The only "type" I have is men who are kind and have good hearts.... other than that, it all depends on the person.
At October 06, 2005 10:21 AM, Phil said…

I'll bet Cookie would never date a dirty Canadian.
At October 06, 2005 10:37 AM, DC Cookie said…

Au contraire mon frere, Canadian accents are second only in sexiness to South African accents. MEOW! When a man tells me he's Canadian his stock jumps about 1000%.
At October 06, 2005 10:48 AM, Anonymous said…

I love this topic. I think we can take it even deeper. However, most are not comfortable talking about issues dealing with race.
At October 06, 2005 12:10 PM, Anonymous said…

Something tells me cookie's about to receive a lot of offers from black readers out there, and maybe other ethnicities too.
At October 06, 2005 12:21 PM, DC Cookie said…

Any tall and handsome asians out there - who aren't gay? :-) I haven't dated an asian before, but there's this one who frequents Clarendon bars a lot who is about 6'3" and completely dreamy...
At October 06, 2005 3:36 PM, Anonymous said…

There is in an Asian guy that works at my job and he is super HOT! I think it should be a requirement for everyone to date outside of their race at least once...it opens your mind a bit more.
At October 06, 2005 4:19 PM, "B" said…

I recommend dating Asians for sure; the rumors about their “feet” aren’t true. And your post is right on—I tend to not date white guys and get judged for it all the time. Dating all different races is much more fun and enlightening.
At October 06, 2005 10:12 PM, Washington Cube said…

...but do you date Klingons?
At October 07, 2005 11:46 AM, cs said…

As the philosopher Phife Dog once intoned, "I like them brown yellow puerto rican and haitian, my name is Phife dog from the zulu nation."
At October 07, 2005 4:19 PM, Anonymous said…

Derek Jeter is black and white and he is super hot. got the best of both worlds
At October 07, 2005 4:23 PM, Anonymous said…

I am white and am attracted to mainly white guys. But I would date spaninsh, black, asian if I thought thet were hot. They're obviously has to be an attraction
At October 07, 2005 5:13 PM, Anonymous said…

This is effin' hilarious. I discriminate all the time. If you DON'T have a hole and a heartbeat....I'm not your man....all others are welcome to get serviced.
At October 07, 2005 5:15 PM, Anonymous said…

Come over and pull my 'race' card.
At October 07, 2005 5:21 PM, DC Cookie said…

GB: I have a hole and a heartbeat...and apparently I date Indian men. MEOW!
At October 08, 2005 6:40 PM, Mybrid said…

Well said, DC Cookie.

From someone who checks out all men with only one requirement - they must be taller than me.

Yeah, that's discriminating. So sue me.