Harry and Sally

Can an attractive single woman and an attractive single man really be friends? It’s the on-going ‘When Harry met Sally’ argument, and I’m going to side with Billy Crystal on this one. If they’re both attractive people, and both uncommitted (for the sake of avoiding a discussion of infidelity, about which I’m extremely opinionated), one or the other is bound to have a crush. Sure, both people can ‘say’ they’re friends, but underneath, one of them is hoping something more will come out of it, whether that’s a relationship or just a romp in the sack.

I hesitate when a single girlfriend says to me “you HAVE to meet my gorgeous, awesome friend X. He’s fabulous, you’ll love him.” That doesn’t make sense! The problem with this statement is, if he’s so fabulous, then she probably wants him, but is pretending not to because they both exist momentarily under the guise of ‘friendship.’ Why would I want to go after a guy that my friend already likes? Either that, or he’s not ‘really’ as fabulous as she says he is and I won’t be interested. It’ll just be another guy that I have to 82nd Airborne when I go out with him.

Here are some examples of classic ‘you’re not really friends but pretending to be’ statements (all of which I’ve heard at some point):

• “I’m going up to NYC to see my friend Y. I’m spending the weekend at his house, but it’s totally cool. Nothing will happen because we’re just friends.” (B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. She’s playing the dumb, naïve, school-girl role but knows deep down she’s going because she wants him).
• “I would never go there…we’ve been friends forever.” (C-R-A-P. They’ve been friends forever because she’s wanted him forever).
• “We dated for a little while and it didn’t work out, but I’m really enjoying our new-found friendship.” (L-I-A-R. She’s just biding her time before she has another opportunity to date him).

Seriously, think about it. It’s a fundamental theory of the rules of attraction: Hot single girl + hot single guy = sexual tension. They can act like friends all they want, but deep down, their animal instinct is telling them to get naked.